Why Calm Training Builds Real Confidence

 Many believed confidence comes from intensity. In reality, intensity often hides uncertainty.

True confidence is calm. It shows up as clear breathing under pressure, steady posture when pushed, and the ability to choose restraint instead of panic.

Traditional martial training understood this long before psychology gave it names. The body must feel safe before it can act decisively. When training is rushed, overly aggressive, or ego-driven, the nervous system learns stress .. not skill.

My teacher emphasizes controlled contact, progressive learning, and awareness. Students are encouraged to feel first, then act. Mistakes are part of training, not something to be punished.

Over time, this creates a quiet confidence that carries into daily life: at work, in conflict, in uncertainty. Not because one wants to fight but because one knows they don’t have to.

Self-defence is not about becoming dangerous. It is about becoming harder to disturb.

Close-Range Arts for Real Life

Kuntao and silat were shaped in narrow spaces like  doorways, kitchens, boats, crowded paths. They do not assume distance, fairness, or preparation. They assume proximity, imbalance, and surprise.

This is why these arts look different from modern combat sports. Movements are shorter. Postures are grounded. The focus is not on chasing strikes, but on controlling structure and space.

In real confrontations, vision is unreliable, adrenaline is high, and fine motor skills disappear. What remains is posture, balance, breath, and intent. Kuntao and silat train these fundamentals quietly and repeatedly.

This training is not about domination or aggression. It is about resolving situations quickly, safely, and with minimum damage physically and legally.

For modern adults, especially in urban environments, this approach is more relevant than ever. Self-defence is not about winning. It is about going home whole.

Why Self-Defence for Adults Should Not Break the Body

Why adult student need a different way to be trained?

Most adults do not fear training. But what they actually fear is injury, wasted time, and being treated like a twenty-year-old body when they are not.

Traditional silat were never meant to destroy the practitioner (destroy enemy YES, but not the practitioner). They were developed by people who had to work the next day, care for families, and carry injuries quietly. Efficiency was not a choice, it was survival.

In adult self-defence, short-term effectiveness that leads to long-term degeneration is not strength. It is debt. Joint damage, chronic tension, and reckless conditioning eventually take more than they give.

That is why my approach emphasizes structure, balance, breath, and decision-making before force. A calm body reacts faster than a tense one. A stable stance lasts longer than explosive aggression. A trained awareness avoids more fights than any strike ever will.

Self-defence should leave you more capable tomorrow, not less. If training does not respect your longevity, it is not realistic it is just careless and to deny it, is just ignorance.

Pre-emptive self-defence

In traditional silat thinking, pre-emptive self-defence does not mean attacking first out of anger or ego. It means acting early to prevent harm when danger is already forming and avoidance is no longer possible. The old teachers understood something modern law also recognises: waiting too long can be more dangerous than acting decisively. But action must be rooted in necessity, proportionality, and awareness, not impulse.

Pre-emptive self-defence begins long before physical contact. It starts with reading intent from posture, distance, breath, tone of voice, and positioning. Silat trains the eyes and body to notice when space is being closed, exits are blocked, or aggression is escalating. A timely step offline, a firm verbal boundary, or repositioning to safety is already pre-emptive action. When I studied Kali and Kuntau - the cousins of silat -, I realised these two arts sharpen this pre-emptive mindset further (I already had this in Silat) when at close range, where tactile awareness and structure allow one to neutralise danger the moment intent becomes unavoidable.

When physical action is required, traditional silat teaches interruption, not punishment. The goal is to break balance, disrupt coordination, and create a window to disengage and leave. This is why older systems favour angles, off-timing, and simple mechanics over prolonged exchanges. The emphasis is not on “winning,” but on ending the threat quickly with the least force necessary. This aligns closely with modern legal expectations of self-defence.

For today’s practitioner, the application of pre-emptive concept in self-defence must be coupled with maturity. It requires understanding local laws, emotional control, and ethical restraint. Silat and kuntau, when taught properly, develop this judgment alongside physical skill. The old saying applies: cepat bertindak bukan berarti harus kasar ... True pre-emptive defence is calm, measured, and grounded in responsibility.

Ibarat musuh baru masuk, kita sudah serang... Ibarat baru Musuh datang, kita sudah selesai.. 

Adult Friendly Training

Is it possible to have a personal protection system for adults who want real self-defence without damaging their body or joints. YES it is!!

Personal protection, when approached without consideration of the body’s structure and limits, often becomes a source of long-term harm rather than safety. Many training methods rely on youth, strength, pain tolerance, or repeated impact, assumptions that do not hold for adults who carry age, work strain, prior injury, or accumulated stress. A system intended for adults must therefore respect the reality of the body as it is, not as it once was.

From a traditional perspective, preservation of the body has always been implicit within effective practice. Techniques that damage joints, compress the spine, or exhaust the nervous system weaken one’s capacity over time and contradict the deeper purpose of self-protection. Practical self-defence is not measured by force or aggression alone, but by the ability to remain functional, mobile, and clear-minded after an encounter has ended.

This understanding becomes increasingly important with age. Adults cannot afford training methods that trade short-term effectiveness for long-term degeneration. The body must remain a reliable instrument, capable of work, family responsibility, and continued learning. A personal protection system must therefore emphasise structure, alignment, timing, and awareness rather than brute strength or repeated trauma.

In this context, self-defence is inseparable from body knowledge. Awareness of joint integrity, balance, breath, and stress response allows techniques to be applied with efficiency rather than excess. When the body is preserved, training becomes sustainable, and skill continues to mature rather than decline.

The aim of such a system is not domination or display, but continuity..which can mean the ability to protect oneself while maintaining health, dignity, and responsibility over the long term. This principle underlies all discussion and exploration presented here.

In my approach, I resolve this by teaching methods that are effective without being extractive. Adults come to training with responsibilities, injuries, and years already written into their joints so every drill is built to sharpen function while preserving structure, aligning breath, posture, and intent so power emerges without grinding the body down. Progress is measured not by how broken one feels after class, but by how capable one remains years later. 

This is old knowledge dressed in modern understanding: true effectiveness is sustainable, and real skill leaves the practitioner stronger in life, not depleted by practice. All this is possible via drill based art. 

Kerambit Course

 

Thanks to those who made it. Had to pull tru even with the sore throat. But alhamdulilah I managed to conduct the kerambit course for silat and cultural appreciation for this year. kerambit or karambit is a unique weapon of the archipelago that spans few hundred years of history in the achipelago. i do this not for advocating violence but for the love of silat as indonesian-malay-filipino martial culture... and the fact that the drills pertaining to the weapon contains psychomotor improvement drill that can benefit brain health by building new neuropathways. I advocate drills for skills via silat. Do join me in future short courses.

At the heart of the course was also an emphasis on control, ethics, and responsibility, reminding participants that any traditional weapon is first a tool for cultivating awareness, not aggression. Each drill was framed to develop timing, bilateral coordination, and decision-making under calm pressure, qualities that translate beyond martial practice into daily life. In this way, the kerambit becomes a medium for self-mastery and cultural continuity, reinforcing that silat is not merely something we do, but something we carry and embody.

Kuntao certification

 

I have just completed my Online assessment for Kuntao certification under DFA, lead by Guro David Seiwert, I would say its a milestone that carries more weight than a piece of paper suggests. Learning Martial arts by virtue of blended learning then manifesting the kata test online is not a walk in the park also, given that one need to wait 2 years to study the materials before getting tested. 

But then again, Kuntao is not learned in haste; it demands patience, humility, and respect for lineage. To walk through this training is to revisit fundamentals again and again, polishing what seems simple until it reveals depth. The certification marks not an end, but a formal acknowledgment that the foundations have been properly laid.

What struck me most throughout the journey was how Kuntao refines intent rather than merely technique. Each movement insists on efficiency, structure, and awareness, reminding the practitioner that power is born from alignment and timing, not brute force. The process sharpened my understanding of body mechanics, breath, and mental composure, reinforcing principles that resonate deeply across all traditional martial arts.  It took me about few years to complete given that it is online and 

I receive this certification with gratitude and a sense of responsibility. I have to say that Online assessment works best for practitioners who already carry a basic martial arts foundation, because the body has learned the language before the screen begins to speak. Those with prior training understand stance, balance, guard, and intent; they can recognize corrections even when delivered verbally or visually. For this, online evaluation is not about learning how to move from zero, but about refining what already lives in the body. Its mentally damning but not impossible. Im willing to have a study group based on this one day... lets see.